The easiest way to lose friends is to ignore them or miraculously become too busy for them. If you apologize later and make it up to them then it works out OK. However, it has been my experience that if you ignore someone for too long that bond is lost. Sometimes we try to go back to the ghost of relationships past as though it were no big deal with our friends. The reality is people form other bonds to replace the relationships that we walked away from.
I know for me I will look at texts from a long time ago and try that old, "hey how ya been?" By then they have moved on and hardly remember my name. It's important to respect people's time. This is something I have learned over the years. Yes, we all get busy but not that busy.
Another way to lose a friend is to not ask them about themselves. If it's only a one-sided conversation with only you talking sooner or later no one will want to listen to you. It's OK to be chatty Kathy, but make sure the conversation is about all parties involved in the conversation not just the speaker. Venting is fine but keep it fair. Hogging the spotlight in friendships will soon mean that only the lone light of the moon will be your only spotlight.
Gossip. I'm guilty of indulging so I know we all do it. It's easy right? We always swear our mean words will never get back to the person(s) we were discussing; until it happens. There are few greater betrayals than the realization that the one you thought was your friend was assassinating your character while you were sleeping. So if someone starts gossiping about your friend? Change the subject or walk away. Don't give in to the gossip. Besides, if it gets ugly they could file a lawsuit for slander and bigger words like defamation of character. That's when you know your friendship went straight to hell.
Last but not least: favors. If you would give a homeless man twenty dollars don't be afraid to give it to your friend. I'm not saying give to the one friend that always asks. I'm saying give to the friend that needs it. Otherwise what's friendship? In this cruel world of strangers determined to remain strangers unless it's on Twitter or Facebook who wants a so called friend that's colder than a stranger? If you can't help a friend when they're down you will find that friend distancing themselves from you because some people have other definitions of friendship. In the end most people who refuse to help another friend will only realize they no longer have that friend when they need help themselves.
0 التعليقات:
إرسال تعليق