Are you waiting until you are perfect at something before you begin to do it? Does that make sense? Think about it. If you are not doing something how can you become perfect at it? You first have to start. You will make mistakes along the way, but that can only serve to make you grow and become better at your craft. Take a look at the Professional Latin Dancers and see how exquisite their dance form is. They did not get where they are overnight. No, it took hours of practice, working with Dance Coaches, attending dance training camp with some of the best dancers in the world coaching them and getting their dance form to perfection. Then you see the finish product when they hit the dance floor in any of the major competitions. Do you think they stop becoming perfect after winning the competition? No, they are right back at practice and teaching students the next day. It is the same outlook we need to have in order to achieve our perfect life.
You cannot and will not attain your perfect life if you are just sitting there doing nothing. You have got to take the first step and trust that your way will be made clear to you. You have to start someplace. Make the decision for your life and The Universe will bring about how it will come to you. But it first starts with you.
How do you live a perfect life? Well, if you could think of a perfect life, what would it look like to you? Take those images, hold them in your vision and then begin to do the necessary work to move your life forward to that perfect life. It doesn't matter how wild your thinking is, if you can dream it, you can feel it, if you can feel it, you can believe it and if you can believe it, then you can definitely achieve it.
I have often heard the phrases, "Nobody's perfect" and there is no such thing as a "Perfect life". Those are very limiting things to say and even worse to believe. Sadly, it is that kind of thinking that we are not perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect life that creates the non-perfect life that people are living. At this moment in time, am I living my perfect life? There was a time that I was. I was doing all the things that I love, I had joy in my heart and in my life and my life was right where I wanted it to be. I couldn't ask for more. However, a few years ago my life experienced certain set-backs and it took a nose-dive, but I am currently working on bringing my life back up to the perfect living that I'm used to. I am learning to fall in love with myself again. Am I perfect? YES, 100% YES! Yeah, I had to say that in all caps and bold, because it is the truth. Are there things in my life that I need to work on? Absolutely yes. The truth is, I refuse to bring my life down and think less of myself for any reason. I may feel bad about myself, but I will not tear myself down unnecessarily.
Are there times when I'm feeling down and depressed? Of course there is. I am human and not a machine. My life has up days and it has down days and I'm sure your life has its moments too. But that does not mean that you are not perfect. Why destroy the canvas before you paint the masterpiece? If you feel that you are not perfect then how do you expect the perfect life to come to you? It won't. Instead, you will begin to experience everything in life that sends home the message to your subconscious that you and your life is indeed not perfect.
You can elevate your life from where it is. Yes, you can begin to live from the highest level of yourself, but as I mentioned before, it takes work, consistent work on your part. You have got to allow yourself to heal and to heal means to begin healing all the old emotions that is influencing your mind and telling you that you are not perfect, you are not good enough and that you will never amount to anything. Take the time to see where all those negative messages are coming from. Chances are they originated in your childhood from adults whose dreams were dashed to the ground.
To attain your perfect life you have to believe in yourself 100%. Clear away the cobwebs of self-doubt that shrouds your mind and prevent you from having the life you desire. Work on your healing, work on your self-growth. Read books that will help to motivate and inspire you. Seek out mentors who can support you in your goals, dreams and desires. As much as I am writing this for others, I am writing it for myself too. I am reminding myself of what I need to do in order to regain my perfect life. It may seem like a lot of work, however, isn't your life worth it?
Believe that you are worth something good. Believe that whatever you desire you can attain it. Become confident in yourself. Your perfect life won't come to you if you are not confident that you will attain it and even if it does come to you, you may reject it because you do not believe that it is for you. Believe that you are deserving of everything that is good and wonderful. Change the thoughts in your mind.
Release limiting beliefs about yourself and about your life. The good life is not just for others, it is for you too. You are just as deserving as anyone else on this planet, but you will need to start believing that you are deserving of it. That does not mean that you just sit there and it will fall into your lap. It requires doing the internal work that will enable you to start turning your life compass into the direction of your North Star. Soon you will be living atop the highest mountain peak living, overflowing with and enjoying your perfect life.
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Releasing negativity is important because it is a heavy weight to carry. It also affects other people. In order to release energy needed to accomplish bigger goals, we need to find strategies to release the negative. Here is an important tip.
Live Your Passion
"Life is without meaning. You bring meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning."
Joseph Campbell, American mythologist
Are you living out of your values and passion? It appears most Americans are at odds with their life purpose.
Many hate their jobs even with perks such as, a pay raise, a well-stocked employee lounge or an exercise room. These workers remain apathetic. They report being in a "rut." Or going through the motions for a paycheck. "Thank God it's Friday!" is a slogan by which millions of workers live by. Are you one of these workers?
Additionally, American business is affected. Gallup reports that mediocre job performance, increased employee absenteeism due to stress related issues, which includes depression and anxiety, is costing big business 550 billion annually.
Moreover, disgruntled workers who stand by the water cooler often live to spread gossip and indulge in other negative behaviors which slowly erodes morale among workers.
What a high price to pay!
How would living your passion quiet your negative feelings towards work?
Living congruently with who you are brings a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in your life. To identify your passion ask yourself, what do I remember loving as a child? What are my values? What talents do others say I have? Ask a co-worker or close friend this question. If your life could be boiled down into a sentence, what would that sentence be? What subjects do you gravitate towards in the media? Look at your check book and credit card statements. How do you spend your money? This gives you feedback.
Begin to integrate your interests into everyday life. Do you prize presentation skills? Find ways to develop this skill at work. Why not volunteer to do presentations at work? Why not take advantage of professional trainings offered at work which deals with bettering communication skills?
Why not join Toastmasters International where you meet like-minded others?
This concrete step is a sure way to bring more energy and passion into the workplace and brighten your disposition.
How Developing Your Gifts Betters the Community
Bringing passion to your work transforms it into play and enhances work performance. When we enjoy our daily activities, we focus our attention to the task at hand, blocking out external noise. Performance anxiety and negativity tend to wane. We experiment. We "think out the box", looking for new solutions to long standing issues. In such a relaxed yet engrossed state, the stage is set for innovative works which can alter the quality of our lives.
I had thought about it, but did not intend to commit at the time I did. I have been a teacher for twenty-three years, when I was walking down the school's hallway talking to a parent whose child was being promoted to third grade from my class.
At the beginning of the school year, I recognized Ventura's strong interest in science and reading. It was easy to single him out as an unusual second grader because his reading skills were on a fifth grade level, and he was extremely curious.
Being an inner-city teacher, I desired to select certain motivated students and provide extracurricular activity and direction, ensuring they be the first in their families to go to college. It crossed my mind several times to make Ventura the first student I'd invest in, but I procrastinated throughout the school year.
His mother was a sincere and hardworking woman who regularly volunteered throughout the year in my classroom. I was impressed how she took the education of her children seriously.
So, as we were walking down the hallway at the end of the school year, I intuitively asked his mom, "Ventura is so intelligent. Do you see him going to college?"
In excitement she responded. "Oh Ms. Henderson! That' been a dream of mine. I want him and his sister to have a better life than we had."
I responded, "Well, Ms. Vasquez, I will commit to Ventura until he's eighteen. I will find ways to expand his and your world, and will help him get into college, if you help him stay focused in school. Deal?"
Mrs. Vasquez erupted in tears. "Oh, God is so good, so good!" She leaned on my shoulder as if to sturdy herself. "Thank you, Ms. Henderson."
On that day three years ago, our pact was born. Since then, this deep desire to see inner-city children become professionals and leaders in our community has developed into a red-hot passion of mine.
The mutual impact we are having on each other has changed both our lives. I feel such satisfaction as I watch Ventura passionately delve into the science classes he takes. Our joint efforts have created deep ties to each other, and their gratitude continues to humble me, adding greatly to the quality of my life.
I have always wondered. I am, first of all, a visual artist than I am a writer. But in every phase of my life, writing had always been given to me.
I know many whose vocabulary and fancy style exceeds that of my own. I know there are born writers. I only learn from reading and admiring them.
Two years ago, one of my mentors encouraged me to continue on my writing career path. She saw how writing had been evidently meant to be a part of my life. I haven't even realized it because I have always known one thing: my heart belonged to Visual Art.
I have been wondering if I am meant to write something of importance. If I am meant to publish a book or become a best-selling writer.
Then, I realized, what is the need for all that? In fact, I have written more than I have imagined I would. In my entire life, I have written many works, many of which I have burned or deleted.
In fact, I realized that there is probably nothing more to write about. Many will keep on writing, and it is all just a variety of words that want to point to one thing: Love.
Love, love, love. The most written-about topic throughout human history.
I am convinced that there is nothing to learn, nothing to teach. Of course, I realized, too, that writers (myself included) would not be writing if that was true.
However, I have deduced that, in truth, all that any of us really needs to do is to return to love. To love ourselves, and to learn to love all unconditionally. That is all that the universe is trying to teach us. That is all the billions of years of human existence has ever been about: the return to love.
I have written before about my experience of the collective consciousness. And even then, it was clear that all source of anger, frustration, hate, resentment, bitterness, desires, ambitions, longing... all have sprung from the lack of love. More from the lack of self love than lack of someone to love.
The experience reminded me of a lady I encountered at a workshop. She is young, beautiful, and bright. She comes from a wealthy, well-reputed family. She has a good-looking boyfriend. She is acclaimed among her peers. When I saw her, all I noticed about her was her niceties. And thus, it was surprising for most of us when she revealed that she had a lot of insecurities.
Then again, it was a crowd of well-to-do people. It was almost impossible to see any trace of lack of confidence in them. Little did I realize that beneath all the make-up that served as a mask, was the truth of what lay within them.
No one can really teach you how to love. Only you can do that.
You can read every book, attend workshops and free healing transmissions, or enroll in classes... until you return to love, nothing will work and no one can do anything for you.
Re-ignite the flame of passion for yourself, for your work, for your life, for your world. You don't need to look for someone to love. You do not need to look for others to love you.
All you need to do is love. Become passionate again. Savor the taste of food, the scent of the trees and flowers, the crispness of the breeze, the warmth of sunshine on your skin.
Fall in love with yourself. Fall in love with the veins that run through your feet, having appeared after a long walk out in Nature. Fall in love with your hard work after a long day at the office. Fall in love with the sound of traffic that tells you, you are not alone. Fall in love with the mother who yells at the top of her lungs, because, in truth, she cares so much for you. Fall in love with the peacefulness of slumber and the freshness waking brings.
Fall in love with your life. Fall in love with your world. If you cannot do that, no one can do anything for you.
Fall in love. Be in love. All else just follows. But everything begins only by your returning to love.
A person who loves you passionately can be standing right in front of you, but until you love yourself, you will be unable to fathom that. Many spend their whole life searching, not even knowing what it is they are searching for. Many travel the world to search for peace of mind, self-fulfillment... for love... hoping that every turn in the road, or flight to a new country might bring hold the answer.
All everyone is searching for is one and the same thing. And yes, indeed, it is love.
You can traverse the whole universe, but until you have learned self-love... you will never find what you are looking for. Even if someone is dying to give love to you.
Wherever you are now, you are exactly where you need to be--just as every single person in the world is. No matter where we are, we all have one single lesson to learn: returning to love.
That is all that we need. And that is the first thing everyone should know. It is crucial that it ought to be the first in the To-Do list of every mother, father, teacher, and leader. (If you are a parent, teacher, or leader, hopefully you ponder on this. Before teaching children about the ABC's and 123's... teach them love. Give them love.)
When I first started writing this, I thought to myself. "What would another book do, if millions of composers, writers, historians, world leaders have advocated it through all their work?" And yet after millions of years of civilization, humanity is still trying to answer the question: What is love?
Some say love is a feeling. Others say it is a state of being. Spiritualists and mystics say it is the building block of the universe.
For me, it is everything. And if it is too difficult to be in love, remember all the times you have ever been in love. Feel it in every fiber, cell, and particle of your body. Feel it light up your body. Feel it surrounding you.
There are millions of thoughts running in our mind every minute, every second. These thoughts are like nuclear fission reaction where one thought splits and gives rise to more and more, but instead of releasing energy it soaks it up, in-order to power up the brain. This article is for all those who think that they think a lot!!
Imagine that you won a jackpot! So what you see, loads of money, luxurious items, party! How about imagining you met with an accident! In a moment entire life cycle of yours will be revisited in your thoughts. When you are happy you think, when you are sad you think, even when you have nothing to do, you think. Just imagine the condition of your neural circuits which are constantly flooded with the signals of thoughts that you keep thinking!
I personally feel that this process of thoughts is never-ending, people say one should dream but unless you think you can't dream. All our dreams are built on the foundation of a thought process. Next question is from where these thoughts come? Answer is as simple as that 'from everywhere', from your past, present, future along with mutually affecting others past, present, future. The 'Thinking cycle' starts with Observance (where you see and visualize things), Hypothesize (where you create your own profit loss statements which further goes on to infinity), Comparison (where you keep on comparing your thought with all possible sense and nonsense around), Action (where you perform what you think, here all your hypothesis act together), Post action drama (unending, unanswerable quest for why, why not, yes, no questions), Hyper-thinking (it's a black-hole beware!! Once trapped into it your mind will go out of your control and you'll re-enter the cycle again and again like a looping error). There is also situation 'being null' when your body is live but your mind goes dead, often called "I am blank", frequently seen in those who are at fully saturated state of mind.
There are situations where thinking can be a fortune, but not to forget it can end up into a tragedy if overlooked. Let me elaborate, once while writing an exam, looking at the options it clicked option 1 could be the answer! Yes it is! Yes it has to be! But why not option 2 (now you entered thinking cycle)! OK now option 3 and 4 could also be the answer! How amazing!! All 4 options seem to be right. Finally marked option 2 and you got it wrong! Then there is a phase of regret that follows 'why I didn't mark option 1 as I thought it! Damn'!! Concluding that whatever comes to your mind at first is usually correct, but when you challenge the same you may deviate from the correct position. May be this is not always true. But shit happens!!
All great people say 'think before you act', but nobody tells how much to think, be it a minute, a day, a week, a year or entire life, your thoughts will never end, but your time will slip out of your grip in a click.
When you seriously want to act, take risk, come into action, make mistakes, and learn from it rather than day dreaming and thinking what you can and what you cannot.
On a global level we get more than our fair share of instability reported by the mass media. With the war between Palestine and Israel, the Iraq crisis, the Russia and Ukraine conflict, the Ebola outbreak... If you don't live in these areas and are not affected circumstantially I'm sure you get enough instability reported in the place you live by your local media. Then, on a personal level, you have to deal with the threat of or the actual instability related to things such as unemployment, relationship problems and financial debt... etc.
Instability, Instability and more Instability!
The mass media can be nothing more than merchants of gross instability. Many people find it hard not to be the effect of all the negative reporting and then again, reacting to all this doesn't make any difference either. When something terrible is reported like, for example, 2 children were killed by a missile attack in Gaza, the fact you reacted with sadness or sympathy... is meaningless: The 2 children are still dead and there's nothing you could have done about it, so why react? You see? You're being played by media merchandising of gross instability. They're making huge amounts of money by creating an ether of negativity throughout the world by this kind of reporting.
To not be the effect of this you may want to consider boycotting it. If your telly starts blurting out negative media reports then switch the darn thing off then after a short while notice how you feel a lot better. Sure, if there's a crisis somewhere in the world, if you want to help in some way then do so but if it is beyond your control and influence then leave it at that.
Achieving stability
Achieving stability means finding a reliable boat to stay afloat on a choppy unstable sea. In this analogy this means achieving stability by first identifying that which needs to be taken care of the most in and amongst the chaos or disruption in your life. Then, identifying the next most important thing to achieve stability with and the next and so on...
Using an example to clarify, let's say that for some reason, you have ended up in a new area. It could be a new town or different country, whatever. The first thing that's needed to achieve stability is for you to identify what needs to be taken care of the most at this point in time. Let's say its finding accommodation. So you get accommodation, then the next thing to achieve for stability is to identify what's needed next in the order of importance. Let's say it's finding a job. Then let's say the next thing is making friends and so on...
Achieving stability in an unstable world also means finding one's self in a stable state: Remember, thoughts, feelings, emotions... your way of being can affect the outcome in your life. A calm stable inner being is capable of producing a calm stable outer world surrounding you.
Working to make changes can be a process. It requires effort, commitment and structure. It also demands a continuous level of self-focus that can test you all the way to your core.
This type of self -revealing focus puts us nose to nose with who we really are, and let's face it that can be very painful. There is something very important to consider in the face of that pain however. What if you butt up against the jagged edges of who you are and you decide to run? What if you decided to stop because the pain of walking through it all doesn't feel worth it?
Let's just say you do decide to avoid the pain of a change process. Or perhaps you have never even thought about the idea of change before. Either scenario requires the style of living where you are focusing primarily on the external. And although the world is filled with plenty of things to keep you focused off of yourself, this thing call your life cannot be lived entirely focused outside of yourself.
Eventually those solitude moments will reveal themselves. Those moments creep up on you and leave you no choice but to stop and take a breath. In order to gather the steam to keep running, you have to take them. And when they do show up there you will be staring back at yourself. What happens in those unavoidable moments? Anxiety? Anger? Shame? Whatever it is, we can both agree it is a whole lot of discomfort.
I mean if we were to really get honest about our process, we exert the same amount of energy running from ourselves as we do when we commit to the work of change. So which is more useful consumption of energy, running forward or running around a track that leads us right back to the same uncomfortable place?
My suggestion is that you look at your personal energy investments with the same conscientious nature that you use when you make your material investments. You certainly look for the wisest places and things to spend your money on, so why not use the same principle for how you expend your hard earned energy?
After all it sucks to be fatigued and have nothing to show for it but the same old painful edges of who you are. So, why not make the investment in yourself and go the distance? Who knows you might discover a wealth of abilities that you never knew you had. Unless you put the time in and work through it all, you will never know what you are truly made of.
How Strong Are You?
Strength gets you through life. Think about all the strength it takes to get through one day: The strength to get going. The strength to keep going. The strength to not give up. The strength it takes to walk away. The strength it takes to march on. The strength it takes to think of solutions. The strength it takes to make things you created, last. The strength it takes physically to be active during the day.
Whether strength is physical or mental, it takes strength to wake up, go to bed and everything else in between the day. Today you are going to rate some of your strengths and emotions in your life:
On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your physical strength 1 (no strength) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (very strong)
On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your mental strength 1 (no strength) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (very strong)
On a scale of 1 to 10 rate the intensity of your fears 1 (no fears) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (lots of fears)
On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your anxieties 1 (no anxiety) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (lot of anxiety)
On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your sadness 1 (no sadness) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (very sad)
On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your anger 1 (no anger) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (very angry)
Now that you have rated some strengths and emotions, I want you to reflect on your scores. To be fearful, anxious, sad, or angry, it takes strength. But it also takes strength to do everything else that you want to do during the day.
Being fearful, anxious, sad, or angry depletes your strength and energy that you could be using for other aspects of your life. Perhaps if you were not using your strength on being fearful, you would have channeled your strength into focusing on creating more confidence and taken up that job opportunity. Perhaps if you were not so angry at your partner and focused your strength on forgiveness, you could have enjoyed your weekend and went into this week feeling refreshed. Perhaps if you were not so anxious about various issues, then you would be more focused on tasks at hand or enjoy more in the moment experiences with those you love.
Fear, anxiety, sadness and anger take up so much of our day and also take control away from us. Each morning you get up pretend there are 20 energy dollars sitting next to you. Pick up the stack of singles and begin to hand them off to tasks that you encounter during the day that take strength. If you want to have energy at the end of the day, it is best not to start your day off fearful, angry, anxious or sad as you will be depleting your energy dollars before the day even begins. Just as you are conscious on how you spend your money, be conscious on how you spend your strength and energy.
The more you find ways to reduce your fears, anxieties, sadness, or anger, the more your strength, both physically and mentally, will go up. And remember, emotions are contagious. So, if you go into work with a negative attitude, those around you will "catch" the attitude and continue your attitude in a fearful, anxious, sad, or angry manner. And, I suggest that if you know someone who is fearful, anxious, sad, or angry, avoid spending a lot of time with that person because you will quickly catch their "virus."
Tip: Your physical PLUS mental strength need to be stronger than the sum of your scores between anger, sadness, anxiety and fears. If the total of your emotions are higher than your mental and physical strength combine, we need to find ways to minimize your scores in fearful, anxious, sad, or angry sectors.
This week's challenge is to identify two ways to minimize either your fears, anxieties, sadness and/or anger and two ways to increase your mental and physical strength.
Dr. Jaime Kulaga is the author of Type "Superwoman: Finding the LIFE in Work-Life Balance - A Self-Searching Book for Women". She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured in Forbes, Glamour, Self and Prevention magazines as well as the national show Daytime for her expertise in Work-Life Balance.
